Of My Moleskine Notebook

Mary mary quite contrary, how does your garden grow?
Ainaa is turning back against the traffic, she’s gone full on nostalgia. This morning, I stayed in bed reading A Child’s Garden Of Verses by Robert Louis Stevensons, an hour later, I combed her house for my old Secret Garden Tape. After that, I combed her house again, looking for the old VCR plug, followed by a two pin plug. I poked and proded but finally realized that my relatively new television doesn’t outstand the vcr’s needs. After two sore arms and hurt neck, I finally gave up and went to search for Secret Garden on the web.

I regret my childhood. I totally do. I should have watched whatever stupid cartoon, i should have watched autroman, I should have played pokemon or something, I should have bought a doll house, I should have went out instead of staying in, I should have this.. that… To anyone out there, if you have a young sibling, niece, cousin, whatever, don’t let them watch bloomberg till they get a degree, don’t ever let them get near political books, get them away from magazines other than K Zone and Disney, never let them go to a Microsoft Launching, and yes, make sure they remember Secret Garden, Black Beauty and Sound Of Music .Believe me, they’ll thank you.

Fail to do so will make young infants end up like me, broken, twisted, cold and hungry. They’ll just realize that missing part of them when they are too old to do those things children do (like me), and when its too early to just forget it and act like an adult(like me) or when they have a faulty VCR (like me).

I always told Joel that I hated being twelve, but now I understand why he was just laughing at me, telling me that he loved being twelve and would like to be again. Now I’m not sure whether to feel sad that I’m twelve and I can’t really be that, or that I’m not twelve for long. Now I think I never actually had a normal childhood, growing up when your siblings are in their late teens is hard, you end up not being able to have anyone to play with, and when I read Robert L.Stevenson’s book I felt quite left out. It made me realize what I had missed.

Its not worth it trying to think older than you are, its not worth it leaving your childhood behind and asking for stocks instead of plushies, after all, childhood plays quite a big role of shaping who you become to be.
Its not worth it , mourning for something that was never even there. Don’t believe me? I’m living proof.

Ahh, finally, my blog is up. After countless of ideas that have been put aside, i decided to use this pic that was slowly collecting pixelled dust in my Pictures folder. I wanted to use Matt Hales but couldn’t find that wax picture of his.

The current topic that is on my mind right now happens to be *suprise suprise* : Drugs.

Well its not on my mind just because of this week being the Anti Drugs Campaign at school but because I was thinking about Jeff Noon’s Needle In The Groove. Yes, one of my most favourite books ever, eventhough I don’t actually understand what Elliot is talking about.
I was telling Alda about the book, and he was like “Why do people associate drugs with music?” and well isn’t it quite true? He was also telling me about this drug called “Space Cake” which are just brownies with weed that makes it impossible for you to stop laughing afterwards.

Without a trace of any drugs whatsoever, i find it hard to stop laughing. I think if i ever took a bite of that Space Cake, I will topple over laughing till they drag me to the emergency room. Only God knows what would happen to my bladder then.

So, I come to this conclusion, drugs are not cool *obvious*, and I shall swear upon this blog to never ever ever consume any harmfull drugs (you see, normal medicine are called drugs too), for the sake of my rectum and kidneys.

And yes, my abs too. Heck, I don’t have any.